The Way Things Used To Be

Sometimes I wish more than anything I could go back. One more day to change something, to enjoy a moment, to say goodbye, to go back. I've been finding myself wishing I could change the past.
It hurts so much that people know who I was. They judge me, I'm still the same in their eyes.
If i could see one person simply breathing, I would feel more whole. More complete.
I guess it just goes to show that we must live in the moment. I've learned that the hard way.
My everything is buried in the ground. Slipped away...
If you had just ONE more day with a lost loved one or ONE day to change your past, what would you do instead? How do you think you've learned from these experiences?

<3

Letter

Here's something I wrote when I was depressed:

Dear God,

Why am I here existing?
Doing nothing but taking up space
It is sad and pathetic.
Even you don't understand what I am going through.
Please take me away from the hurt and pain.
Before it's too late.
Don't let me take matters into my own hands.
I know you don't listen.
When I'm down on my knees.
But you don't know what it's like.
To be unloved, abused, depressed and misunderstood.

Do you hear the screaming

The words like silver daggers

Hurting me inside
You haven't felt real misery like this.
Or numbness inside.
Because you are all mighty.
And I am your mistake.
A flaw in your perfect world.
I am sorry I ruined.
The plans that you had.
For the world, for destiny.
God I failed you...
By being myself.
By being your mistake.
But you always failed me.
By never being there.
Why do you make my life...
So cruel and unfair?